If That's What It Takes
by Kiora
Summary: T/P : What if Pan was tired of her saiyan heritage? --COMPLETE
1. Something About Her

I played the part of a broken heart upon a shelf  
I played that part so lonely and so well  
Thought that love belonged to someone else  
Not me and you  
Yeah, I know that you've been shattered  
You been bruised  
We both know what it feels like when you lose  
But I'd bet my life on a roll of the dice for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: I'm going to give multiparters another chance.. here we go. I have the story mostly planned out, and the song, which does not belong to me, is called "If That's What It Takes" ('nother Bon Jovi song). If you haven't figured it out yet, the characters aren't mine either.. but the story is! Another T/P.. so if you don't particularly like that grouping, this may not be the fic for you. I'll only continue it if you want me to.. feedback feedback feedback!]  
  
If That's What It Takes - Something About Her  
  
He sighed and sat back in his chair, absentmindedly tapping his pencil against the desk. It was the fourth time this week that he found himself there, wondering about the night that had just unfolded. He'd gone out again, that much he remembered, with some ditz whose name had erased itself from his memory. Maybe that was the problem. What had gone wrong? He'd laughed at all the right moments.. smiled back every time see looked at him. Hell, he had even paid for everything and brought her a bouquet of red roses from the flower shop. He even picked her up on time. What else did she want from him? Hadn't that been enough? He had totally outdone himself tonight. But why didn't it feel the same anymore? The thrill had gone.. the fun.. why did he even bother anymore?  
  
For the longest time, it felt as if there was a part of him that had gone missing.. for all he knew, Kami could have whisked away a piece of his heart and threw it out the window. It sure felt like that. Nothing seemed to be worthy of his attention like it used to be. Now he spent his days checking the durability of his desk and wishing his life had a bit more meaning.   
  
Tap. Tap tap. Tap. Tap.   
  
Finally regaining his senses, he shot a glance towards the door. Where was that noise coming from? Rising from his spot on the chair, he opened the door. Seeing no one, but sensing something more, he whirled around just in time to catch a raven-haired girl slip in through the window. "Hey," she murmured casually, "can we talk?" Smirking, he set the pencil down and perched himself on the bed. "Sure. It's not like I have anything better to do. What's on your mind?" Pan let out her breath and made an attempt to smile. "If there was something hideously wrong with me.. you'd say something. Wouldn't you?" With a bewildered look on his face, Trunks eyed her suspiciously. "..I guess. Why?"   
  
She studied him carefully, no doubt considering something important. Emotions were jumbled in her eyes, and he could only make out a few. Confusion. Despair. Loneliness. Something was wrong. "So what's wrong with me?" Seriousness in her voice, she looked at him sternly, "There has to be something I'm missing." A hand on his chin, he examined her carefully, making "oohs" and "aahs" as he went along. Shaking his head, he replied, "Nope, nothing at all. You're missing the smile though. What's wrong?" She tried to smile again, but the happiness never quite reached her eyes. Looking away, she uttered, "N-nothing.. it's just," she was about to go on, but thought better of it, "it's nothing."  
  
Again, he saw the emotions flicker through her eyes like the glimmering flame on a candle, right before it burns out. "It's obviously not nothing," he pointed out, "come on, I'll listen. I swear I will." Pulling her closer, his eyes met hers, and this time he saw only pain, only hurt. Anger ran through his veins, anger for the one who hurt her.. anger for the one who caused her pain. Only anger. Her voice faint, she whispered, "I'm in love." Her words completely knocked him out of orbit, and only Kami knows what kept him from fainting right there and then. "Or I was," she continued, and his attention was completely hers once more, "but he didn't love me. Not Paik. Neither did Koran. Or Erik. Not even Bopper. Maybe it wasn't love, but they ran away! All of them." Tears filled her eyes, and as much as she tried to hold them back, she couldn't. "Is there something that wrong with me?"  
  
In the back of his mind, Trunks listened as she recounted the thousands of boyfriends she had once had, from Alan to Zeke. The thousands of boys who had run away, terrified of her strength. Terrified of her power. The thousands of boys who would never understand. Who had slowly cut up her heart. When he realized what was going through his mind, he wondered why there was so much anger.. why he suddenly thirsted for blood. Why he felt the need to shield her, to protect her from everything that came her way. To hurt everyone that hurt her. God knows he could carry his side of the bargain.  
  
Gently, he commented, "It's not you, you know that. You.. we.. aren't exactly normal." Suddenly, he felt her ki flare, and the fire in her eyes raged again. Angrily, she snapped, "I AM normal! I'm.. perfectly.. n-normal." Her voice cracked mid-sentence, and sobs wracked her body once more, "W-why don't they see that?" Enveloped in his warmth, the darkness started to pull her away. Faintly, she whispered, "Why don't they see that?"  
  
Laying the sleeping girl onto the bed, he melted into his chair, alone with his thoughts once more. Maybe a bit too alone. Contemplating this evening's date didn't seem so important anymore.. and his troubles seemingly faded away for those brief moments. Brushing a few strands of lavender from his eyes, he stood once more, exhaustion running through his body. Maybe a little rest would help get his head back onto his shoulders. As he started for the door, he noticed the silver tears that still escaped her closed eyes. Wiping them away, he lifted the quilt over her trembling body, and turned out the lights.  
  
His heart felt it.. so did his soul. Even his eyes could see that there was something about her.. something that made him whole again. For those brief moments when his eyes met hers, he was perfectly content, a feeling that he had almost forgotten. Something about her.   
  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  



	2. The Right Thing

I bet you counted all the tears I bet you've cried  
I bet you swore you'd never let love back inside  
Cause it hurt you way too bad to say goodbye  
Now, there'll be times when I might put us to the test  
And it's hard for broken hearts to just forget  
But I'm driving blind, I'll lay it all on the line for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: That took me a little longer than I thought it would, considering I had everything planned out.. but I decided to change it around after all. I was also trying to make the chapter a bit longer, but length has never been a friend of mine. A huge thank you for everyone who commented, I appreciate it a lot! ^-^ Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! With that out of my system, here's part two!]  
  
  
If That's What It Takes - The Right Thing  
  
Leaning against an old maple tree, she gazed into the sky, watching as the stars slowly faded into the morning. A million thoughts rushed through her mind, a million questions, a million worries. As confusing as the stars, and as countless.. thoughts that stretched as far as her eye could see. Questions that held no answers.. as mysterious as the stars that dotted the universe. Saying nothing, doing nothing, hearing all.   
  
The voices stuck in her head did little to ease her worries, her fears. Constantly bickering with herself, constantly doubting, constantly aching.. and there was no one who could make them go away. No one. That made it hurt even more. They were the voices that kept her from falling asleep at night, kept her from being who she was, kept her from living once more.  
  
Pan let the tears trickle down her reddened cheeks, let the wind whisper her tale to the trees, let the sky sing it's song of hope.. she let life go on, no matter how badly she wanted to stop, to turn around, to revel in her memories of the past. She let it all go on without her. She'd sit this dance out.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
"I'm worried," Videl murmured, sipping her coffee, "that can't be healthy." Her daughter had never been one to sulk. Pan went through enough boyfriends a year to rival even Videl herself when she was younger.  
  
"She's strong.. she'll get over it." Gohan replied, casting a wistful gaze toward his daughter. "I'm sure she will. She just needs some time." No matter how confident he seemed, worries were starting to tug at his soul. He had never seen his daughter so hurt, so raw. He was starting to wonder if she really could get over it alone.  
  
"I think we've given her enough time. I say you drag her in here, wipe that frown off her face and bring back the happy little girl I raised."  
  
Rolling his eyes, Gohan muttered, "It's not that easy anymore."  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Combing his hair back, he gazed into the mirror, hoping his nervousness didn't show. Trunks looked back at himself from the reflection, tall and mysterious, hidden behind a wall of secrets. Sighing, he pushed a few strands of hair from his gaze and pummeled out of the bathroom stealthily. Rapping his knuckles against Bra's door, he called, "I'm going to go hang out with Goten for a while. Don't wait up for me."  
  
Slipping out the window, he felt the cool breeze rush against his face, and for a few brief moments, he felt free. Free from the storm cloud that constantly hung over him, free from the chains that held him down to reality. For only a moment. It didn't take long for the guilt and the fears to catch up to him, and they made up for lost time.   
  
He didn't know when it started, all the worries.. they had just snuck up on him and before he knew it, his soul was pulled down in a mass of chains and shackles. He was scared that he'd never find the right girl, scared that she'd already disappeared, scared that the person he was looking for was right in front of his nose. But most of all, he was scared that he'd already found her.   
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Pan found herself in her room when the morning came, a room filled with memories that had left her behind. Lifting her pillow, she gathered all the pictures that lay underneath gingerly. Leafing through them, a wistful smile found its way to her lips, and she recited each boy's name, remembering. Somewhere in between Alan to Zeke, the smile had faded, and the tears just wouldn't stop. Mentally, she cursed herself.. for being weak, for letting them hurt her.. for letting her heart break every time.   
  
"It doesn't have to be like that." A gentle voice interrupted her thoughts, and she whirled around. Seeing no one, she replaced her photos under the pillow and stood, silent. "You're a Son.. you can do whatever you want to do. Be whatever you want to be." Recognizing the voice, Pan's eyes widened, "Grandpa?" Goku chuckled lightly and popped into view behind his startled granddaughter. "Miss me? Everyone's worried about you, Panny." Sitting down on the bed, Goku continued, "I know you're hurting, but only you can make it stop.. and you've got to decide who you want to be. No matter how much you want to think you're normal.. you're not. But if that's what you want to be.. no one's stopping you."  
  
She smiled, and happiness, a feeling that was almost foreign to her now, flooded into her veins, though she didn't know quite why. For a few moments, the burden that lingered upon her soul was forgotten, and the agony that she had encircled herself with was slowly floating away. Maybe he was right. Maybe she could make it all better again. Pan threw herself in Goku's arms, overcome with hope. Hope that she could get through this. Hope that life would go on once more.  
  
Smiling, Goku slowly faded away. He, too, was filled with hope. Hope that she would do what was right. Hope that her smile would never fade. "I know you'll do the right thing," Goku whispered, "you deserve to be happy again."  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Grabbing a few clean shirts and a toothbrush, Pan stuffed her bare necessities into a duffel bag and bolted down the stairs in record time. In the kitchen, she snatched a bagel and as she hurried out the door, possessions in hand, she yelled, "Mom, dad! I'm going to go find the dragonballs!"  
  
---  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  
  



	3. If That's What It Takes

I played the part of a broken heart upon a shelf  
I played that part so lonely and so well  
Thought that love belonged to someone else  
Not me and you  
Yeah, I know that you've been shattered  
You been bruised  
We both know what it feels like when you lose  
But I'd bet my life on a roll of the dice for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: This came out better than I expected, considering all the writer's block that tends to follow me around. As always, my eternal gratefulness to everyone who's responded, *cries* you're so wonderful ^_^ Anyway, if it's short, that's just how I write I guess.. the "creativity" (if you can call it that) comes and goes.. and that's all I'm going to ramble about now, enjoy! :)]  
  
If That's What It Takes - If That's What It Takes  
  
"That was NOT supposed to happen," Dende muttered under his breath, "I never should have sent Goku to talk to her." Why did everyone have to be so adventurous? An adventure was the last thing he needed now, after he had just finished taking care of the stock market crisis and the global shortage of canned peaches that came before that. What he needed now was a vacation. The stress was really getting to his head, and he was considered one of the more patient Gods around. Humans were much too complicated, and humans with saiya-jin blood? He wasn't even going to go there. For the thousandth time, Dende found himself wondering how life would've been if he had just stayed on Namek. No stock markets there, and no one needed anything but water, no one was stupid enough to go after the dragonballs these days, after hearing about Frieza's death. He longed for home. Being God definitely wasn't all it was cracked up to be.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
"The dragon radar?" Bulma questioned, looking through an old pile of gadgets, "I know it's around here somewhere." Looking around thoughtfully, Bulma suggested, "I think I may have left it in the lab the other day, why don't you wait here while I go get it?" Pan nodded and sank into a leather chair, letting the bright surroundings engulf her. The last time she had been to Capsule Corporation was the day she snuck into Goku and Trunks' spaceship. Looking at everything now, there was peace.. there was calm. No robots zoomed through the halls, circuits overloading.. no stone-faced adults whispered grimly.. there was peace. Only peace.  
  
Scanning her surroundings, a picture on the coffee table caught her gaze. A portrait of a family came into view.. Bulma looking as thoughtful as she always did, Bra smiling brightly, and even Vegeta managed a weak smile. Trunks stood next to his father, reflecting the same troubled look in his eyes, the same mystery. It wasn't hard to tell that they were related, no matter how much each tried to deny it.  
  
Pan found herself lost in thoughts once more.. she had been doing a lot of thinking lately, and her Grandfather's words were not yet forgotten. She had yet to find herself.. to decide who she was going to be.. and though a part of her couldn't even begin to comprehend what that meant.. deeper within, she knew exactly what he meant. She knew exactly what she needed to do. She had always been two people.. two completely different people, chained together to the same soul, the same spirit, each trying desperately to rid itself of the other. Neither had succeeded, yet.   
  
She was Gohan's daughter, intelligent and sweet, a girl who longed to be normal, who longed for peace. And she was Videl's daughter.. rebellious and stubborn, a girl who wanted to be strong, a girl who wanted a taste of adventure.   
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Bulma shuffled around in the illuminated laboratory, looking under her papers and digging through piles of rusted parts. "Aha!" She murmured triumphantly, digging one of her oldest creations from the pile. Wiping the dust from the tiny machine, she smiled, memories flooding her mind. Memories of her own adventure with the dragonballs.. memories of a time she could never forget. Sure, Pan was a little bit younger, but to strip anyone of adventure, to Bulma, would always be a crime. Besides, the girl was Gohan's daughter.. protecting herself would never be a problem. Still, something bothered her.. the dark seriousness of the girl's eyes was almost haunting. It was as if she held some dark secret, some urgent mission.. Shrugging it off, Bulma headed back up the stairs, engulfed in her own memories once more.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
The sun pierced his eyes, and instantly, he was awake once more. Groaning, he glanced at his clock, and mentally bashed himself for getting up before noon. It was much too early for any normal person to even function correctly. Standing wearily, he brushed back his hair and dressed, desperately wishing he could go back to sleep. Suddenly, he felt it. Something was wrong, and it felt like he'd just been hit in the head with a brick. Waking up early was never worth it.  
  
Trudging toward the window, a fleeting figure caught his gaze. "Pan?" Squinting, he saw his mother's dragon radar in her grasp, flashing wildly. Confusion dominated as he watched her disappear, what in the world would she need with the dragonballs? Dread flowed through his veins like blood, and he knew instantly that something was wrong. Something had to be wrong. But what?  
  
It was weird how all his worries melted away when she was around, and to some extent, it scared him. He had finally found what he'd been looking for all his life.. and it had always been right under his nose. Always. But she wasn't his yet.. would she ever be? It was weird how in only moments, he knew what his heart had known since the day he was born, and in moments, he could lose it all. But she'd see.. he'd make her see. "If that's what it takes, I'll do it," he whispered to himself, "I swear.."  
  
If his father ever knew how he was slowly breaking, he would never live it down. A saiya-jin, afraid his heart would break? Laughable. And had it been happening to Goten, he would've laughed. Hard. But it wasn't. And more than anything, he wished it was.  
  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  



	4. Why?

  
I bet you counted all the tears I bet you've cried  
I bet you swore you'd never let love back inside  
Cause it hurt you way too bad to say goodbye  
Now, there'll be times when I might put us to the test  
And it's hard for broken hearts to just forget  
But I'm driving blind, I'll lay it all on the line for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: This is gonna be the last part out for a bit, spring break is here and I'm going to Japan! Yay! This should, if the previous one didn't.. confirm suspicions.. but in case you're not the suspicious type, I'm not going to say anything.. enjoy! Anyway, don't expect anything new within the next week or so.. I'll have little to no internet access. Feedback is still welcome though ^-^ Very welcome. Again, thank you to everyone who's put in their 2 cents about any of the chapters.. it's very appreciated! Yay for spring!]  
  
  
If That's What It Takes - Why?  
  
Panting, she slowly descended from the clouds, her energy spent. She'd been flying for hours, and she still had no idea where she was. Pan perched herself in a nearby tree and glanced at the radar. "Hmm.. it should be around here somewhere," she murmured, looking around, "but where?" Seeing nothing especially conspicuous, she drifted through the air, alert. A spot of orange caught her eye in a bird's nest nearby, and instantly, a smile found it's way back on her face. One down, six to go.  
  
The sky was welcoming and the sun was warm, it was as if for once, the Gods were smiling at her. At least someone was. It was nice knowing that you wanted something in life, she decided. Nice to know that there was a little meaning beneath the chaos. More than anything, she wanted to be normal.. perfectly normal. And as different as it would be, she was convinced that it would make everything better. Give her time to heal her broken heart. Maybe life was beginning to look up for Son Pan after all.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
He was in the air again, all too soon, and all too soon, the sun was in his eyes, the wind in his hair. He didn't know why he had the urge to catch her, to bring her back, and to tell her everything he'd figured out since the last time their eyes met.. but he did. And he didn't know why he had this sinking feeling in his heart.. a feeling that told him she was doing something she'd regret. It was confusing.. all these feelings, all these thoughts.. and lately, he'd been thinking being brain dead couldn't be that bad after all. At least he wouldn't have to worry about the constant confusion.   
  
Trunks could feel her ki nearby, and his heart skipped a beat. It took all the courage he had to keep from stopping, and swallowing the lump in his throat, he sped forward at an even quicker pace. He wasn't going to lose her now.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Sighing, she finally decided to take a break, all this flying around had really exhausted her. Lining up the six dragonballs that she had collected, she sat down in the shade of a willow tree and closed her eyes. Her Grandfather's words still echoed through her mind, and every time, she felt a chill go down her spine. He was saying something more in those words.. something deeper than just making the right decision. And she hoped more than anything that she was doing the right thing. But it was so hard to tell.. so hard to see if what she was doing would make everything better again.  
  
Pan stood, engrossed in her own thoughts, and treaded toward the peaceful lake that unfolded before her. The water glowed like a shimmering sheet of silver, and her own eyes looked back with the same giddy nervousness that she had been feeling all day. Kneeling at the shore, she looked into her own eyes and felt herself falling from the cloud she had been walking on all day. Falling fast, with no one to catch her.  
  
When she finally surfaced from her thoughts, another figure had joined her in the reflection, and before she could say a word, she was falling..   
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Trunks saw her kneeling over the surface of the water and he felt an incredible temptation to do something evil. Why? He would never understand.. but the temptation was there.. and who was he to resist temptation? Sure, he was more "mature", more adult.. sure, he was the head of a large and important company.. that didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun here and there.  
  
The look on her face when she rose from the water was priceless, and if looks could kill, he would've been on the road to King Kai's in five seconds flat. Luckily, today was not his day to die, or she would've been preparing her patented twin energy balls by now. Under his breath, he murmured a thank-you to Dende and smirked.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Glaring at Trunks all the way, she returned to her tree and picked up the madly flashing dragon radar. 'I'll ignore him.' She decided, 'I'll just ignore him because I'm a merciful person, and Bulma wouldn't be very happy if I killed her only son.' Quietly, she muttered her mantra, "I will not kill him, I will not kill him.."   
  
Amidst her angry thoughts, she was unusually warm, and she could almost feel the blood rushing to her face. She could hear her heart pounding in her mind, could hear her own breath stopping her lungs. It was a feeling she wasn't unused to.. and feeling wasn't sure she liked. "Need help?" He questioned, breaking the silence and unsuccessfully trying to keep the laughter from his voice. Glaring, she quipped, "Might as well make yourself useful somehow."  
  
Slowly ascending into the sky, she looked over the land, trying to concentrate on her search unsuccessfully. His face kept coming to her mind, and only his voice rang through her ears. Of all times, why in the world was she thinking about him now? Her whole life lay ahead, and even closer was the inevitable decision that she would face. She had no time to waste.. but why was the lump still stuck in her throat? Why wouldn't he leave her mind? Why?  
  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  



	5. Don't Do It

I played the part of a broken heart upon a shelf  
I played that part so lonely and so well  
Thought that love belonged to someone else  
Not me and you  
Yeah, I know that you've been shattered  
You been bruised  
We both know what it feels like when you lose  
But I'd bet my life on a roll of the dice for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: While trying to get over my jet lag, I finally got myself to finish this part, the end is near! Will I decide to be evil and kill someone off? Or will I be nice and let Trunks and Pan finally find each other? Bwahahaha.. power!! Anyway.. lotsa love to the kind souls who reviewed, my new best friends! ^_~ On to whatever number this is.. five?]  
  
  
If That's What It Takes - Don't Do It  
  
  
This was his chance, and who knew when it would come again? If it would ever come again. But for obvious reasons, he couldn't seem to conjure up his almighty saiya-jin courage. Mouth shut, he silently flew through the air, the wind in his face and the sun in his eyes, trying to read the painted expressions on her face. For the first time in his life, he wasn't sure what he wanted.. and it was even harder to figure out how to get it. His mind was overloaded with questions and doubts, with the insecurities that had been locked away in the darkest corner of his soul.   
  
'Do it for her,' he urged himself, 'talk to her. Make her see.' He commanded his eyes to open, his lips to move, he ordered his body to turn around, to look her in the eye and tell her that what she was doing was wrong. And as hard as he tried, as much as he wanted to, and as strong as he was.. he couldn't. His eyes stayed shut, his lips nailed together, and his body soared forward still, with no sign of stopping.   
  
Furious with himself, Trunks was shaken out of his thoughts by the frantically beeping dragon radar. "Here," he murmured, trying to regain his composure, "I'm landing." Trees surrounded him as he made his way back onto the ground, and without checking to see if Pan was behind him, he silently trekked through the woods. He knew what she was intending to do.. and he was sure that when they left this forest, she'd have only half of what made her who she was. And to watch her throw away a piece of her spirit, her soul.. he couldn't.   
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
"Don't do it." His voice was soft, but unwavering. For a moment, he looked back, and his eyes met hers. There was only determination in those eyes.. an intense fire she had never seen before. "Just.." turning away, he stood in his tracks, "make sure you know what you're doing." For the first few moments, she didn't quite know what to think. The fury and anguish welled up inside of her was the first to escape, "No.. maybe I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm weak. Maybe I'm just a kid. I'm not like you. I can't take this!" Burning tears formed in her eyes, blazing trails of crystal down her cheeks. "I.. I don't *want* to take it a-anymore. I don't *want* to be different!" Her fiery screams quickly became weak whispers, and her voice began to crack. Violently, she jerked her body up from the ground and began running as fast as her legs would take her.   
  
Mind spinning, heart pumping, Pan kept running, though she wasn't quite sure why. 'Because you're a coward,' her mind reminded her, 'because you know he's right. You know everyone still thinks you're just a little girl. Because you're scared. Coward!' The footsteps behind her told her that he was coming, and without thinking, she darted into a cave nearby. "Please Dende, don't let him see me," she whispered under her breath, "please, please, please.."  
  
She let out her breath as he passed right by, not bothering to peek into her hideout. Climbing to her feet, Pan wandered deeper into the cave, following a mysterious golden light. With each step, she felt the rock beneath her crumble, but it went unnoticed -- her suspicions got the best of her. Absent-mindedly, she hurried through the rocky corridor, not realizing the low rumbling that grew louder with each step. Finding the source of the light, Pan let a smile form at her lips, "The four star!" Quickly, she snatched the ball from where it was wedged between two large rocks and before she could celebrate her discovery, the world came tumbling down around her.   
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
"Damn it!" He growled, frustration surging through him. Why did this have to be so difficult? She had lowered her ki to a point that it was hard to tell if she was still alive, never mind trying to find her. Searching for a needle in a haystack would've been considerably easier. Unfortunately, he was stuck with looking for the elusive saiya-jin. "Pan!" He yelled, his voice dominated by anger, "Pan! Answer me!"   
  
A wave of gold washed over his lavender hair, and hard, emerald eyes emerged from his worried blue ones. Closing his eyes, he tried desperately to focus, to concentrate on her scent, her face, her ki.. anything that would lead him to her. Anything. The despair got to him, and the helplessness was driving him insane. He knew she was in trouble.. he could feel it.. and knowing he could do nothing pushed him over the line. "PAN!"   
  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  



	6. Human

I bet you counted all the tears I bet you've cried  
I bet you swore you'd never let love back inside  
Cause it hurt you way too bad to say goodbye  
Now, there'll be times when I might put us to the test  
And it's hard for broken hearts to just forget  
But I'm driving blind, I'll lay it all on the line for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: I like cliffhangers. Don't you? ^_^ This part's a little different.. I switch point of view more than usual in this, so just a note.. the first and last blurbs are in Pan's point of view.. and she's thinking everything, I guess. I picked out pieces of another one of my stories and put it here, so if anything sounds familiar.. that might be why. As always, thank-you to everyone who reviewed so far, and on to part six.]  
  
  
If That's What It Takes - Human  
  
What does it mean to be human? Does it mean you're weak? Does it mean that you're better than anyone else in the galaxy, or are we inferior by far? Does it mean you can clone sheep and build mammoth skyscrapers, or is humanity a mere vessel for hate and corruption? Does it give you the ability to walk or sing? Can you do things no one else can? Does it make you invincible, or are you more vulnerable than ever? I don't know.. I don't know the answers to any of the thousand questions I have.. the millions of doubts.. but I know one thing. I know that flowing through my heart and soul, more freely than blood, there's emotion. Sadness and happiness, loneliness and frustration, anger and hopelessness. Countless different feelings, more constant than the flow of time. More confusing than any math problem on the face of our Earth.   
  
I know that I'm human. More human than anything else. And I know I'll make mistakes, I'll have regrets. But there's no time for that. And now, more than ever, I feel like I'm running out of time.. I feel like there's something I need to realize, something I need to remember.. something I haven't realized yet. And as the sand in my hourglass is draining, I need to know what it is that I've forgotten.. I've overlooked.. someone.. anyone, please.. help me find it.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Her first instinct was to run. Far, and fast.. but the last time she did that, she had gotten herself into this cave in the first place. And how could she run when there was nowhere to go? Left with only the other choice, she reluctantly held out her hands and closed her eyes, rapidly collecting energy from the Earth. 'You're useless without those powers,' her mind told her, 'you'll never be normal.' The words echoed through her heart and soul, growing louder each time, tearing at her wounded heart, 'Give it up already.. why don't you just die and get it over with?'  
  
"I.. I don't want to," she whispered, her voice defiant and energy radiating from her body, "I don't want to die." Waves of pure power blasted the boulders into rubble, and in only a few moments, the cave that was once there was no more. Determination in her eyes, she knelt to the ground, picking up her scattered dragonballs. Gently, she lined them under the sun's brilliant light like her grandfather had done countless times before, and she knew he was watching her. Watching her from wherever he was, with all the faith in the world that she would do the right thing. And now, somehow, she knew what she needed to do.  
  
"Arise, Eternal Dragon, and grant my wish." An eerie green light flooded the area, and the skies darkened rapidly. A strong wind blew through her ebony hair, and from the seven golden spheres, a giant dragon formed in the sky. A voice she had heard so many times before greeted her, a deep, but gentle voice that gave her a feeling of warmth and security, "What is your wish?" Summoning up all the courage that remained within her, Pan cleared her throat, "I wish.."  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Humans are complex, as much so as saiya-jin. But we're run by more than fighting instincts and hunger. And what's got me most confused and frustrated is all of my emotions. There're so many.. and right now, they're so jumbled up. But don't get me wrong.. not all of them are so difficult to define. Of the feelings, there are some I understand. There are some I can't deny.  
  
And those? Those are my feelings for you.  
  
[Author's Note: You want to review it. I know you do. You know you do. My wall of sprite cans knows you do too. Don't deny it. You know you want to.. review it! Succumb to the urge! I don't mind at all..]  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  
  



	7. Eyes

I played the part of a broken heart upon a shelf  
I played that part so lonely and so well  
Thought that love belonged to someone else  
Not me and you  
Yeah, I know that you've been shattered  
You been bruised  
We both know what it feels like when you lose  
But I'd bet my life on a roll of the dice for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter took so long.. I didn't really feel like writing much.. but the reviews were very encouraging. Thank you *very* much to everyone who reviewed! This is really short.. (please don't hurt me, I tried to make it longer! I did!) but I'll try to make the next one longer! I swear! Oh yes, and if you can't tell, the last paragraph thingie is in Trunks' point of view.]  
  
  
If That's What It Takes - Eyes  
  
He felt it. Suddenly, out of nowhere.. she was there, and he wasn't letting her get away again. Letting his senses take over, he glided through the vast expanse of trees and bushes, searching, grasping to the hope that he wouldn't be too late.   
  
Grimly, he noted that the skies were rapidly darkening, and he felt a surge of energy in the air. The unmistakable aura of the Eternal Dragon was near, and as much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn't. A growl escaped his lips as he sped forward quicker still, battling the sinking feeling in his heart.. trying to cling to his last shard of hope.   
  
He had always hoped he was wrong, hoped that maybe he had misunderstood. But the pain in her eyes told him everything as she bolted into the forest. She had been pushed over her limits and fully planned to do whatever harsh, irrational thing her mind commanded that she do. And in this case? Erase what made her who she was. Strip away a part of her soul. Snatch from her something she could never take back. And as much as a burden his saiya-jin heritage was, it did come in handy in more ways than one.  
  
Trunks had denied it all his life, the possibility that he would ever fall in love. His love life had consisted of millions of women throwing themselves at his feet, but none of them had earned her place in his heart. No one was as bold, as strong, and as spirited as Pan.. and no one was about to make a bigger mistake. And if he hadn't known it before, he knew it now. He was in love. And there was no use denying it any longer. Now if he could just get to her before he lost her..  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
She couldn't breathe and for those few moments, it felt almost as if she had stopped living. The breath was stripped from her lungs and her heart was ripped from her chest, pain flooded into her system. The thoughts were paralyzing her mind, the doubts blazing trails of anguish through her soul. Invisible worries ate at her from the inside, and she could do nothing to stop them, or lessen the pain.  
  
Letting the air flow through her lungs, she tried to wipe the nervousness away, tried to assure herself that she knew what she was doing. "I want-" and that was when she saw him. Bursting through the endless expanse of green, his eyes met hers. Beautiful, determined, verdant eyes gazed at her and she melted, "-a giant vanilla milkshake. With cherries."  
  
His eyes mesmerized her, the way they almost glowed under the light of the sun, how they were filled with so much emotion.. how they were fixated on hers, and how they made all of her doubts go away. She knew he was staring back, knew he'd notice.. but that didn't matter as much right now. Drowning in the depths of his eyes, Pan felt something awakening within her, feelings becoming clear. Was it him all along?  
  
Snapping out of her dreamland, she diverted her gaze, noticing only in the back of her mind that the Eternal Dragon had gone. The skies had returned to their normal clarity, and there was not a cloud in sight. A familiar laugh pulled her attention from the sky, "A milkshake? You could've at least wished for something useful." His eyes sparkled as he laughed, the glittering green fading to a hopeful blue. She shrugged, hoping her face wasn't as flushed as it felt, "I'm hungry."  
  
~ if that's what it takes   
  
Pan bounced in the front door, her duffel bag draped over her shoulder. Yelling an excited greeting, she bounded up the steps to her room and flopped onto her bed. By the time she and Trunks had finished their debate over what she should have wished for, night had snuck upon them. She was exhausted, her muscles were aching, she was freezing cold, her clothes dripping wet, and she still wasn't exactly normal, but she had never had a better day.  
  
All in all, she was still the same girl with the same godly saiya-jin strength. She could still fly and shoot ki blasts, but something felt different. She hadn't changed anything, but somehow, she felt better, lighter. She wasn't quite sure how she knew, but Pan was sure that she'd done the right thing. And from tomorrow on, she'd go on living her life and being whatever she was, if not normal.  
  
On the verge of sleep, just before her thoughts disappeared for the night, she realized something, 'Maybe it wasn't those guys I was in love with.. maybe it was always Trunks..'  
  
~ if that's what it takes : t r u n k s  
  
I don't know how many times I tried to tell her today. I don't know how many times I stopped halfway. I don't know how many times I froze looking into her eyes. I guess I pretty much lost count after fifteen. I don't understand how it's easier for me to look death in the eye than to tell a girl I love her. I've never felt like that before.. vulnerable and small. It's not really something being a saiya-jin brings. I can't stand not knowing anymore either. I'm going to tell her if it's the last thing I do. I swear.   
  
[Author's Notes: Review it! Please! I beg of you! Make a poor little girl happy! ;__;!]  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  



	8. Tears

  
I bet you counted all the tears I bet you've cried  
I bet you swore you'd never let love back inside  
Cause it hurt you way too bad to say goodbye  
Now, there'll be times when I might put us to the test  
And it's hard for broken hearts to just forget  
But I'm driving blind, I'll lay it all on the line for you  
--  
[Author's Notes: Hahahaha! This one is long, just like I promised! The longest chapter ever so far.. and probably the most eventful. This one is dedicated to all the kind souls who've reviewed so far.. you have no idea how much they mean to me! They make a bit happier than I should be for my own good.. but there's nothing wrong with that. By the way, since I don't quite know exactly how old Trunks and Pan are supposed to be in GT, let's just pretend Pan is around 16 and Trunks is at 26. Okay? Okay! Good, let's get started.. part eight!]  
  
If That's What It Takes - Tears  
  
Clutching a glass of lemonade in her shaking hands, she tried desperately to concentrate on the taste. The lemonade was slightly sour and slightly sweet, refreshing to the tongue and in a way, energizing. Swishing the drink around in her mouth, the last thing she was thinking about was Bra's lighthearted chattering. The last thing she needed was more gossip to hang over her head. While she marveled at the way the ice cubes clinked and clattered in the glass, something caught her attention.  
  
"-so I've been watching him, and get this.. Trunks is in love!"   
  
Dropping her glass onto the table, Pan ripped her attention from the yellowish liquid in her cup and onto her best friend's face. "What did you just say?"  
  
With a huge grin, Bra squealed, "Trunks.. is.. in.. love!"  
  
At her friend's words, Pan couldn't help but feel a little butterfly of hope fluttering into her heart and though she tried to squish it down and keep the anxious look off her face, it didn't work well enough. 'Maybe..?' Quickly, she plastered on an apathetic expression and went back to tactfully dodging her friend's questions. Still, something in her mind bit at her as she tried not to get her hopes up, and she couldn't seem to concentrate on anything but him.  
  
Pan had spent her day at the Capsule Corporation, hoping for a glance of the lavender haired saiya-jin she couldn't seem to get out of her mind. Unfortunately, he hadn't showed his face all morning and Pan had pretty much lost hope. Just as she was ready to leave, Bulma waved her over, "Could you tell your parents that I'm inviting them over tonight? It's another dinner party and I'd be bored to death if I don't have someone to talk to. Even I can only take so much.." Flashing a warm smile, Bulma continued, "of course, you're welcome to come too. I'm sure Bra would appreciate some company." Pan nodded her thanks and flew off to relay her message.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
Clearing his throat, Trunks practiced his speech to the mirror several times. There was always something about it that didn't seem right. Frustrated, he melted onto his bed and closed his eyes. He knew she was down there, and though that had never bothered him for the first sixteen years of the ritual, he found it increasingly unnerving now. Hiding his head under the covers, he sighed, mentally cursing himself for his lack of courage. Squeezing his eyes shut, he decided to wait until she left. Then maybe he could start thinking straight.  
  
As much as he tried to relax, sleep just wouldn't come. Trunks was beginning to think that everything was secretly conspiring against him. The sun that would never seem to set.. the time that moved much too slowly for his taste, the courage within him that wouldn't rise again, the sleep that refused to take his soul, his mind that could concentrate on only her and nothing else. Sighing, Trunks rolled over in his bed, covering himself in silken blankets and waited for her ki to fade.  
  
Hours later, Trunks opened his eyes again, realizing with little satisfaction that he did get a little of the sleep he so desperately needed. Sitting up in his bed, he realized that Bra had left a note on his lampshade. He groaned when he read its contents, and a feeling of dread filled his mind, 'A dinner party? Just perfect..' All he needed was more rotten business ordeals and financial conversations to make his worries go away. Yeah, right. He still didn't understand how his mother could sit through as many as she had and still cling to her sanity. He had already begun to lose some of his, that was for sure.   
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
"Ugh! This is sooo boring!" Bra muttered under her breath, staring in amazement at all the serious looking guests. "How can they stand it?"  
  
Looking disgusted, Pan shook her head, "I have no idea.. they look like they're at a funeral or something."  
  
"Let's go inside," Bra suggested, "I don't think I can take this any longer."  
Nodding her agreement, Pan followed her friend inside the house, relieved to be away from all the formality. Kicking off her shoes, Pan climbed the stairs to Bra's room, stopped by the sound of her name. "Pan!"  
  
Whirling around, blue clashed with blue, and a smile found its way to her lips, "Trunks." Warmth filled her, and she could feel the blush creeping through her face. It had only been a day since they last met, but it had seemed to her like an eternity, and just being in his presence made everything all right again.  
  
"Pan, I need to talk to-" He was interrupted when a petite redhead creeped up behind him and weaved her arm around his. A seductive smile on her lips, she rested her head on his shoulder. Looking up at him innocently through her long eyelashes, she opened her lips to speak. Pan didn't hang around long enough to hear what she would say.. not that it would have eased her fears any.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
She knew her voice was wavering even as she gave her good-byes, and she knew her body was quivering as her father kissed her goodnight. She knew her hands were shaking as she waved to Bra, and she knew her heart was pounding louder than humanly possible as she flew off. She knew the tears were forming in her eyes, and quickly, but it didn't matter to her.. nothing did. And as they flowed down her cheeks, she did nothing to stop them.. nothing to hide them. It just didn't seem to matter all that much.  
  
For the first time in the last few months, she could honestly say there wasn't a thought on her mind as she blazed through the air. Not one. Maybe she was still too shocked to think anything.. or maybe she was just too hurt. Maybe it was too difficult for her to comprehend that she had never had a chance after all. For that must've been what Bra meant earlier, when she said her brother was in love. Pan cursed herself for believing, even for a moment, that Trunks could have ever fallen for her.  
  
She crumpled onto her bed in sobs, unable to think, unable to feel, unable to live. In one night, she shed all the tears that she had ever held back in her life-tears for her Grandpa, who left them all.. tears for her Grandma, who was so alone these days.. tears for her mother, who lived in fear.. tears for her father, who wouldn't live forever. Tears for Bra, who was too afraid to admit her true feelings.. tears for her uncle, who was as cowardly as Bra.. tears for Marron, who had not yet found her true love. And there were tears for herself, for everything she'd lost because she was never given the chance. Tears for the times she thought it was all over.. tears for the times she felt like she didn't belong.   
  
When she resurfaced from her vale of tears, the numbness had gone away and the pain had taken its place. A terrible crushing pain in her heart that made it difficult for her to breathe, and even harder to think straight, not that she needed the thoughts to keep her company. Casting a sideways glance at her alarm clock, the red digits glared at her. It was already 3:27 AM, too early for any sane human being to be up.. but since when had Son Pan been completely sane?  
  
She soon discovered that sitting up lessened the pain a bit, and made it much easier for her to think. And with that discovery came the memories.. the memories she so dreaded to remember. The petite redhead haunted her mind, and she remembered the innocent emerald eyes and the silky flame-colored hair, the slender arm clutching his. And no matter how gruesomely vivid her memory, there was still hope that dared show its face in her heart. But before she could squash it like a bug, it got through to her. Maybe she had just been too quick to her feet.. maybe there was an explanation. Maybe there was hope for her yet. Just maybe.  
  
Giving in to her blind faith, Pan changed into more casual clothes and wrapped her orange bandana over her hair. Slipping out of her window, she slid through the moist morning air, watching through the corner of her eye as the sun rose. Soon enough, she reached her destination and found his window. As she was about to open it, a blur of red caught her eye, and instantly, she regretted her decision. 'Oh Dende,' Pan murmured to herself, 'you hate me, don't you?'  
  
~ if that's all it takes  
  
Trunks stared in amazement as Pan bolted down the stairs and disappeared from his sight in just a few milliseconds. And of course, it was just when he had worked up enough courage to tell her. Why did the Gods find pleasure in making his life a living Hell?   
  
"I love you." It took him a while to realize just why Pan had bolted, but when he did, he decided that he couldn't really blame her. The woman was pretty repulsive. Batting her extra-long eyelashes wildly, she attached herself to his arm and refused to let go. It had taken him a while to remember her name, but when he did, he promptly detached himself and told her to get lost. For a while, he considered following Pan, but it occurred to him that it would probably take him another sixteen years to work up the courage to tell her a second time.  
  
A few hours had passed by the time Trunks found himself awake again. Pulling his curtains open, he gazed into the darkness, and for a moment, his frustrations melted away. Sighing, he stepped away and sat down on the bed. In his numbed state, it took him a while to notice the figure that placed itself next to him, but when he did, he was more or less surprised. Innocent green eyes gazed up at him once more, and he muttered something about 'persistency' and 'stalkers' before leaving the room instantly.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
This time, the tears didn't flow, there were none left to shed. She just turned as quickly as she could and disappeared into the early morning fog. The hope was gone from her heart, finally squished like a bug. Her mind wasn't blank this time, either.. it was far from blank.. she was thinking every thought her mind could handle, but more than anything, she realized that she needed to get away. Far away.  
  
This time, it wouldn't be for a dragonball quest, and this time, it wouldn't mean leaving for only a day. If that meant leaving without any good-byes and not a word to her parents, that was what she'd do.. but at that moment, there was only one thing imprinted quite clearly on her mind. Closing her eyes tightly, she could hear her heart shattering into a million pieces, that glass heart that so many had broken. No one was careful enough- no one cared enough. And it would all end. Now.  
  
No, this time she wouldn't try to change what she was. Grandpa had helped her realize that she was fine the way she was. That wasn't the solution. This time, she would make everything better her own way. And this time, Trunks wasn't going to stop her. For a moment, the terrible aching in her heart had ceased, for she was filled with a new determination. A new mission.   
  
[Author's Notes: I better be seeing some more reviews! Grr! *tries to look intimidating* Okay fine, maybe I'm not so good at that.. but please review! PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!]  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you  
Do I have to break down, baby, just to break through  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes..  



	9. I Love You

So when you feel like jumping  
Just when your heart starts pumping  
When you're standing out on that ledge  
Staring over the edge  
I'll be there to talk you down  
I'll be there before you hit the ground  
--  
[Author's Notes: Yay! Last chapter! It just figures that the writer's block came back just when I was finishing this. Yucky. Anyway, sorry it took so long, but it's out now! Those who haven't, *please* review it.. and those nice, wonderful, happy, sweet people who have.. please review it anyway. ^^ Anyway, on to chapter nine.]  
  
If That's What It Takes - I Love You  
  
It was morning now, and as if mirroring the anguish in her own soul, the rain beat fiercely against her window, attacking it with the force of the Gods. As she went through her various belongings, Pan felt the tears again, and she wiped them away furiously. 'This isn't a time to be weak,' she reminded herself, 'I'm moving on.' Biting her bottom lip, she stuffed her clothes into the suitcase and went back to sorting through her closets.  
  
Ever since she had gotten back, she had tried desperately not to break down, not to fall back into the grave she had dug for herself. Who knew packing could be so difficult? Her breath caught in her throat when she came upon a picture she had hidden deep within her piles of clothing, and she felt herself choking on the tears unshed. He gazed up at her from the picture, with those stormy blue eyes that she had long since fallen in love with. The wind blew through his lavender locks, and his smile melted through the barriers around her heart.  
  
She couldn't stop the tears now, there were too many, and she was too weak to fight them off any longer. She dissolved onto the floor, letting the pain and hopelessness rush through her body. In her mind, she cursed herself for everything-for falling in love with him, for thinking for a moment that he could love her too, for not becoming human while she had the chance, for being too weak to leave it all behind, for not being able to tell him. And somewhere along her millions of regrets, she lost herself to a restless slumber.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
He buried his face in his hands, trying to hide it all-push the feelings back inside of him from whence they came. Unfortunately, it didn't work that way. Battling the aching in his heart, he paced the cold, empty halls, trying to decide what to do. Since he felt himself falling for her, no decision came easy, and that wasn't about to change. He still saw her eyes sometimes, lingering in his memory. There was confusion in those eyes, but he knew there was hope too. And he couldn't help but wonder what it was that she was hoping for.  
  
The thoughts were bombarding him again, the endless questions. Who needed the world to stand in his way when he had himself? Trunks never believed it possible and as he saw those around him fall victim to it, he had always vowed that it would never take him. The same powerful beast that had taken his own father and some of the strongest warriors the universe had ever seen. The same beast that was about to take him as well. Love.  
  
He was driving himself insane with worry, with doubt. He was burning alive, the flames were engulfing him. He hadn't seen her for the longest two days of his life, and he couldn't bear it much longer. He needed to see her face. Needed to hear her voice. Needed to know she was there.   
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
When her eyes opened once more, she grimly continued filing away her clothes into the suitcase. Digging through her dressers, she pulled out a carefully hidden picture and slipped it under the layers of clothing. Looking around at her room, the walls seemed more bare than they had ever been before, and her heart much heavier. The pictures stared at her from the walls, silently questioning her like so many had done before, telling her she wasn't ready. "Well I am," Pan whispered to them, "and I'm leaving this behind."  
  
She wasn't quite sure if she was angry or scared, but either way, she needed to break out of her cage, she needed to spread her wings for once. Grabbing a sheet of paper off her desk, she wondered what people wrote on farewell letters.. but as her eyes graced the surface of the paper, she froze, and a feeling very unlike anger or fear washed over her. The feeling that there was something left undone. And maybe there was. Dropping everything, she slipped out the window and into the world to finish what she had been too scared to start.  
  
~ if that's what it takes  
  
His eyes met hers and without a word, everything was clear. Without a single word, he had expressed the feelings than ran rampant through his soul, and without a single word, he was complete. He had finally found what he had been missing all his life.. and he didn't plan to let it go again. Closing the gap between them, their lips met, and he was enveloped in the flame once more.   
  
Slowly pulling away, she whispered, "Trunks.. I love you."  
  
~ if that's what it takes : p a n  
  
If I ever had any doubts about how I really feel, they're gone. Poof. No more. And now I finally understand why what I did was right. I guess that's why fairy tales and real life are so different.. if the little mermaid stayed as she was, she probably would've regretted it for life.. but me? I think I can get used to being a little stronger than everyone else.   
  
Being human is to be a little bit of everything and everyone. It means no one's the same. Some people will be stronger, and some will be weaker. Some people will run away from their problems, like I almost did.. and some people will face them. And sometimes, what waits after the storm will make everything else worth it.  
  
~ End  
  
[Author's Note: *waves an upside down spoon in front of your face* You want to review the story.. you want to review the story.. you want to review the story..]  
--  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If we take the time to do it right, I know we'll pull through  
If it took all my life, I'd prove it to you  
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do  
If that's what it takes... 


	10. Epilogue

If That's What It Takes – Epilogue

If That's What It Takes – Epilogue

[Author's Notes: I had a few requests for a sequel to _If That's What It Takes_, and solely because I have no idea what I would write about, I decided to make an epilogue instead. Just to assure you that everything stays fluffy and pink. This is probably the longest thing I've done in my life, and I really like how it turned out. As always, many thanks to those whose suggestions and comments made this possible. I'd also like to thank my fellow cookie eater for reading it over for me. J Well, with that said, on to the chapter, and reviews are very much sought after!]

A shrill scream pierced the hazy, dreamlike atmosphere of the Son household, and within moments, Gohan and Videl hurriedly rushed toward the source of the noise: their daughter's room. Bursting through the wooden door, anxious eyes searched the perimeter of the room before landing upon Pan's shaking figure. Worriedly, Videl flew to her daughter's side, "What happened?"

Fear flashed through her eyes, and for a moment, she said nothing. Letting out a sigh of relief, Pan opened her mouth as if to speak, then reconsidered. "Nothing, mom. It was nothing." Beads of cold sweat ran down her reddening face, and tremors still zapped through her spine. Slowly, she repeated her answer, as if she were trying to make herself believe it. "Nothing."

Gohan cast his daughter questioning gaze, but was too tired to pursue it. Yawning quietly, he murmured, "Try to go back to sleep. Talk about it in the morning?" Kissing Pan's forehead, he left the room as stealthily as he had entered, the remnants of drowsiness still clinging to him tightly.

"Mom, I'll be all right," Pan insisted, seeing the hesitation in her mother's eyes, "I can take care of it myself. Really." Videl's expression softened, and a gentle smile found its way to her face. Throwing her arms around her daughter, she whispered, "Sweet dreams." Then she, too, exited the room, leaving Pan with her thoughts.

~ if that's what it takes

Pan pulled the covers over her head and closed her eyes tightly, a feeble attempt to protect herself from the insecurities that followed. The nightmare had come again, the same nightmare that came whenever everything was going right for a change. Though time had passed and the terror was slowly fading, she could still remember everything as if it were a memory and not a premonition. She could see herself in his arms, a smile brightening her features, and then, suddenly-- the world would collapse around them.

As windows broke and people screamed, she saw herself clinging to him; looking into his eyes. Hoping that everything would be all right. But it wasn't. It never was. Powerful hands rose from the ground and pulled her away from him, and everything that had once stood between them opposed them once more. Words she hoped she'd never have to hear slipped off of the tip of his tongue, and icy eyes met hers. As she turned to see who it was that held her back, who it was that started it all, she saw herself. And it confused her all the more.

Sometime before the sun began to rise, sleep claimed her once more, drawing her into a restless slumber. Dreams and nightmares came and went, but never one strong enough to rouse her from her trance. Her eyes finally opened when the sun shone proudly above the sky, daring clouds or rain to try and come close. Clumsily, she stumbled out of bed, still not completely awake. She was half asleep as she changed out of her pajamas, a routine so ritual that her mind had stopped controlling it, and as she splashed cold water over her face, she was returning-- bit by bit. By the time she had left the kitchen, stomach filled, Pan was herself once more-- or at least, she was everything that was left after the nightmares took their course.

Just as she was ready to escape through the front door, the customary ringing of the telephone distracted her, followed closely by her mother's yell, "It's for you, Pan." A mixture of dread and anxiety washing through her veins, she reluctantly reached for the phone that was hanging so lifelessly against the wall. "Hello?"

"Panny, is everything okay?" A familiar voice rang out from the line, concern obvious in his voice. She could almost see the worried eyes and the wrinkles that would form above his eyebrows, and the thought brought a grin to her face.

"I'm fine." Pan replied bluntly, knowing that Trunks was hoping for a better answer. Closing her eyes tightly, she willed herself to go on, to tell him that she was scared; that she couldn't bear to live another day without seeing his face . . . but her voice wouldn't cooperate.

"Well I'm always here," Trunks murmured, "do you want to go get lunch later?" His voice was hopeful, and she knew that Trunks was always desperate to get out of the office. She could feel the quirky smile on his face as he spoke, and as she drowned in the details, the question was lost to her. "Pan?"

The excuses were the first to float to the top of her head, the countless excuses that she knew so well. She could tell him that she'd be gone by then, that she was watching movies with Marron or shopping with Bra. She could say that it was her night to cook, or that Gohan had grounded her for staying out too late. There were a million things she could've said, a million things that she would have said, if only he was someone else. But after an eternity of hesitations, it was her fear that spoke, "I can't."

~ if that's what it takes

There was something on her mind. That was as clear as day to him-- something that had stolen the glowing smiles from her face and the childish twinkle from her eyes. And though she had been acting strange lately-- more shut off, more vulnerable, it only sparked his determination to make the sun shine once more. And though things were different between them, he loved her more with each day. Pushing the thoughts away, he turned to the mirror. Studying himself closely, he brushed back his lavender locks and flashed an innocent smile. He pantomimed his every action for the mirror, imaging the expressions that would dance across her face. 

The clock behind him struck noon; bells clinking, chimes banging, and stirred him from his reverie. Knowing that countless hours still remained proved little consolation for his nerves, and though he hid his uneasiness well, it was still there. He wasn't used to this, this feeling. The feeling that he was walking in a mine field and that he could destroy everything he worked for, everything he loved, and everything he needed with a single misplaced step. And though physically stepping on a land mine may not be what it takes to kill a Saiyan, a mine field within the heart is dangerous no matter what your race. 

Trunks had so many things to do, and that was the only reason he couldn't stand in front of the mirror all day and brood over his situation. There was so much left undone, and if tonight was to be perfect, he had a busy day ahead of him. And though Trunks had never liked work-- be it calculating figures at the Capsule Corporation, or be it running little errands, it kept his mind occupied . . . and words couldn't express how wonderful it was for him to be able to throw his thoughts away, even if it was for a moment. 

~ if that's what it takes

Pan slipped into the house quietly, closing the door behind her, and sneaked into her room without a word. Shopping had always been boring for her, even if she was with friends, and today was no exception. Marron and Bra had basically spent the day ogling a bright sundress that to her, looked no different than the twenty others beside it. As she changed into more comfortable clothes, a bouquet of brightly colored flowers resting on her bed caught her eye. She examined them carefully, pulling the card from amidst the assorted leaves to read.

_Panny –_

Waiting for you at the clearing around six.

Hope these brighten your day as much as

your voice brightened mine.

Love,

Trunks

~ if that's what it takes

The cool air brushed against her face as she glided through the air, her path illuminated by the moon's eerie glow. Miles of forest lay beneath her, and above, miles of sky. She hovered just over the treetops, concentrating on finding the clearing that laid ahead. Closing her eyes tightly, she let her senses take over . . . and though she couldn't see, other senses painted vivid images of what could be seen below. The clearing came into view moments later, and as she descended through the treetops, she could feel his ki nearby. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she emerged through the leaves and found herself lost in the depths of his eyes. 

He wrapped his arms around her instinctively, and for a moment, all of her doubts were at bay. For a moment, the storm cloud that hovered over her was forgotten, and the worries that had pestered her all day were gone-- but for only a moment. Déjà vu washed over her as their eyes clashed, and everything she had been trying to forget was back with a vengeance. Seeing the pain in her troubled eyes, Trunks flashed a mischievous smile and pulled another bouquet of colorful flowers from the air, "For you." 

She couldn't help but smile, and as he leaned down to kiss her, watery tears sprang to her eyes. A rush of thoughts ambushed her mind, and though she tried desperately to mask away her feelings and push back her tears, neither worked. Sensing something amiss, Trunks backed away and gazed into her dampened eyes with a strange intensity. Gingerly, he wiped the stray tears from her cheek and lifted her gaze to his, "What's wrong?"

The tears were threatening to spill again, and in a vain attempt to keep them back, she bit her lip, "It's just that . . ." She snuck a gaze into his eyes and all of the barriers around her heart cracked and shattered in that one moment. Warm tears flowed forth, trickling in streams down her face, and she ripped her eyes from his. She couldn't bring the right words to her lips when he looked at her like that-- with so much love, with so much hope. She couldn't bear to tell him that it wouldn't last forever, that one day their differences would catch up with him. She loved him too much for that.

Trunks took her into his arms again, letting her cry, knowing that something was terribly wrong. He closed his eyes tightly, knowing that now, he had the courage . . . and if he waited any longer, it would surely leave him. 'Now or never,' he thought to himself, and swallowing the lump in his throat, he whispered, his warm breath grazing her ear, "I want to help, but I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong." She jerked away, her breath ragged and fear dominating her blurry eyes. Shaking her head furiously, she cried, "I—I'm fine." Clearing the tears from her eyes, she added, "Really." He didn't believe her, and did little to hide those thoughts. As he opened his mouth to speak, she placed a finger over his lip, "No."

"Hear me out," Trunks whispered, squeezing her hand reassuringly. Slowly, he knelt before her, his own anxiety hidden away, "I don't have all of the answers. And I'm no psychic, I can't tell you why you're hurting. But I promise that I'll try to help if you tell me." He fought the urge to turn and hide from his feelings again, "I love you Pan. And I can't promise you that we won't have doubts in the future, just like I can't tell you that it'll never rain again. But we'll get through it!" His whisper grew to a plea, and in her loving eyes, he found strength, "We'll make it, together. Marry me, Pan?"

~ if that's what it takes

"And do you, Son Pan, take this man . . . " It was amazing how quickly time had passed as she drowned in the depths of his eyes. How he could make her every doubt disappear with one touch, and how his smile shed light onto the darkest of her insecurities. And though she was still scared that her nightmare held a prophecy . . . though she would never cease to worry about the day their love might vanish, being with him made everything all right. And as the priest's words echoed through the vast chapel, and across the ocean of friends and family, she had no doubts, no fears. This was what she wanted.

"I do."


End file.
